Two Poems and a Poem: Ritual One, Day 15

 Two Poems:

"American Wandersong" by Richard Blanco

"Pelligrinaggio" by Barbara Kingsolver

A Poem:

One Day

by ljkemp

This job, my career. I am grateful,

but restless, not about whether to stay

or where to go next, but where to go

away. It is half-past something I can't

stand one more minute of today, and

my mind is far from here.

A luxury afforded to me by the very 

job that on this day bores me.

I am in the woods among the trees

and the birds and the wind, the crackling fire.

I am at the shore with the waves and the saline

breeze, my mind hovering with the seagulls

screeching questions in the wind. I hear

them and today I have no answers.

Italics: The first italicized line is from Kingsolver's poem, and the second one is from Blanco's.

Two Poems and a Poem: Ritual One, Day 14

 Two Poems:

“How to Be Hopeful” by Barbara Kingsolver

“Using Country in a Sentence” by Richard Blanco 

A Poem:

Persistence

by ljkemp

Sometimes you just have to stand 

on an incline where things look possible.

Nowhere to go but up. Or out. Or over.

One foot in front of the other,

the tread of your hikers gripping

the ground below. Dig. Deep from

inside, down into the ground

willing yourself, pulling up 

to the morning sunrise out through

the heat of the day into dusk and

into the evening sunset. Until,

alas you look up to the nighttime sky

where stars turning like a kaleidoscope

above you, complete the rotation 

of another day.

Italics: The opening line is from Kingsolver’s poem, the italics in the final line are from Blanco’s poem.

Two Poems and a Poem: Ritual One, Day 13

 Two Poems:

“El Americano in the Mirror” by Richard Blanco

“How to Love Your Neighbor” by Barbara Kingsolver 

A Poem:

Beautifully Eccentric

by ljkemp

Maybe you don’t remember, or don’t want to, or

maybe, like me, you’ve never been able to forget.

Of the latter would mean you have forgiveness in

your heart. For now you share with me (and the world)

photos of your daughter, the image of you when we

were just this young, jumping off the swings of the

Baker Hill playground up through the air landing

unsoftly in the Colosseum, middle school gladiators

fighting for our lives, our identities, for our positions.

Did you feel I abandoned you? When I turned my back

on my true friend. Left you alone to make kitchen 

concoctions, to dance solo to Thriller in front of MTV

while in the bathroom I learned to apply blue eyeliner

inside my lids and mascara to match. Why didn’t you 

try harder to hold on? Or maybe you did. Maybe you 

let out more rope and instead of grabbing it, I let it

go. Let you go.

Why did I trade ice skating in socks on hard wood floors

for EGs and Reeboks? I wish I had emulated your

eccentricity and your fashion flair instead of begging

for overpriced designer jeans and a Benetton rugby. Why

was it so easy for you to not fit in? Maybe it wasn’t.

Maybe you weren’t meant to. Maybe you had a stronger

sense of who you were. Wise beyond your years with less

fear or more fear and more courage. You were so good in

so many ways. Able to announce your rebel kindness in 

letters much too loud on the back of your jacket, with pants

in colors much too bright to blend in. You were perfect in

every way, and I still turned in the other direction.

Italics:

The opening line is from Blanco’s poem and the later italicized line is from Kingsolver’s poem. Blanco’s poem also served as a mentor poem.

Two Poems and a Poem : Ritual One, Day 12

 Two Poems:

“How to Knit a Sweater (A Realist’s Prayer)” by Barbara Kingsolver 

“My Father in English” by Richard Blanco

A Poem:

Love & Family

by ljkemp

Uncomfortable. That’s putting it mildly. How anyone can be comfortable with death

will forever be beyond my understanding. Don’t tell me to have faith. I believe in G-d;

my faith does not cancel out my fear of everything else. As I hold my loved ones 

this day in my thoughts, we drive slowly down the path to my grandparents’ grave, 

they lay side by side. My mother squats down and places our four stones, one each for us 

and one each for them. “Look who I brought with me today... it’s Laurie.” She turned to me 

then and told me when she dies she wants her ashes spread over them. And I cried. 

And I tried to calculate in my head how long they have been gone. He, my grandfather, 

died the year before I got married. Now celebrating our 25th, that means it’s been 26 years. 

I swallow back more tears. My son, now 22, never got to meet him. And I think how 

they would have loved each other so. She, my grandmother, died when my son was 5. 

Five from 22 is 17. She’s been gone so long. Both of them have, their love and marriage 

a beacon. They shared more years together than I have yet lived. Sixty-two years interrupted 

only by cancer. It took him before he could bless our wedding challah, before he could 

witness our vows. Yet, the word I most learned to love and know him through was love. 

Or family. I think love. I think family. Yes, I learned to love and know him through these words. 

Love and Family.

Italics: First italicized line was from Kingsolver’s poem, the second was from Blanco’s poem.

Two Poems and a Poem: Ritual One, Day 11

 Two Poems:

“Mother Country” by Richard Blanco

“How to be Married” by Barbara Kingsolver

A Poem:

87- 89- 96- 25

by ljkemp

One last deep breath of familiar air,

and just like that we said goodbye

the only home I had known my

whole short unlived life.

The car doors clapped closed,

and we fled never to breathe that 

same air again.

Never saw the clouds 

closing like curtains behind us

I never looked back

butterflies and bees in my belly.

The rest of my life was waiting for me

there, patiently

and I never even knew it.

Don’t rule out surprising possibilities.

the idea is just magical,

surprising possibilities.

Italics:

The first two italicized lines are from Blanco and the last is from Kingsolver.

Two Poems and a Poem: Ritual One, Day 10

 Two *Three Poems:

“How to Get a Divorce” by Barbara Kingsolver

“What We Didn’t Know About Cuba” by Richard Blanco

“Matters of the Sea” by Richard Blanco

A Poem:

Same Sky

by ljkemp

Sacrifice for love is a cozy hearth.

Home is not where the heart is,

not now as our loved ones are strewn

about the state, the country, 

down the street and out of reach

longing for touch-a hug, cheek-to-cheek

a meeting of the eyes, face to face,

a warm hand gently placed one over

another, sitting beside each other. 

Listen again to the echo of your sister in the 

kitchen scrambling eggs, your mother 

leaning into her book, turning the pages.

Outside we walk under the same sky

satisfied but not, with a phone to the ear,

gazing into the lucid blues of our shared horizon

breathe together, heal together so that  

we may be together again one day, soon.

Italics:

The first italicized line is from the Kingsolver poem, the additional italics are from the Blanco poem.

*Edit January 15, 2021: I realized while returning to the Blanco book the next day, I had actually read two of his poems unintentionally. I referred back to what I thought was the original poem to grab a line I couldn’t remember, and it seems I was drawn into the next poem because I actually pulled lines from the next one. This entry is actually 3 poems and a poem. Lines from Blanco’s poem “Matters of the Sea” also appear in the “one poem.”

Two Poems and a Poem: Ritual One, Day 9

 Note: I didn’t skip day 9, I just chose not publish.

Two Poems: 

“Island Body” by Richard Blanco

“How to Lose That Stubborn Weight” by Barbara Kingsolver 

A Poem:

Home

by ljkemp

Those tiny little feet and that baby button nose

kiss what you can

That smooth and blemish-free skin, still

untouched by the harsh worldly air

and his soft round keppie with feathery new hair

kiss what you can

Soon he will feel forced to leave home

but home never leaves us.

kiss what you can 

and he will carry those kisses 

down the street, across town, over

state lines and over the sea. Always.

kiss what you can

Wherever the world spins us, home

Remains the island that remains in us.

Italics: 

The repeating line kiss what you can is from the Kingsolver poem. The rest of the italics are from Blanco.

Two Poems and a Poem: Ritual One, Day 7

 Two Poems:

“Letter From Yi Cheung” by Richard Blanco

“How to Survive This” by Barbara Kingsolver

A Poem:

Thoughts of You

by ljkemp

The unanswered question of parents,

all of us as we marvel at our kin

across dinner tables,

in the passenger seats, of our cars,

next to us standing eye to eye

as we speak to them grown before us.

How has time passed so quickly,

the earth revolved so many times

spinning you into a complete human?

Nothing can stop our sun, our moon,

our tides and seasons, nor what 

I have dreamed in you,

love and happiness and health

peace and love, fulfillment

kindness, success, love and love.

Remind me again the day will come

when I look back amazed at the waste

of worry salt.

Remind me too thoughts of you,

hopes and dreams peace and love

worries even, 

will never be thoughts wasted.

Italics: The first italicized sentence is from Blanco’s poem, the second is from Kingsolver’s poem.

Two Poems and a Poem: Ritual One, Day 6

 Two Poems:

“How to Give Thanks for a Broken Leg” by Barbara Kingsolver

“Staring at Aspens: A History Lesson” by Richard Blanco

A Poem:

Listen to the wind breathing 

through the branches still alive with the story.

Concede your debt to life’s grammar, even

as it nailed you in one fell stroke

from subject to object.

Nature to cypress tree, slough 

blue heron, mangrove, river

estuary, roseate spoonbill, tree crab

alligator flag, slash pine, anhinga.  

Listen to the wind through the trees,

still alive with the story of life before

the conquering.

Italics: First sentence in italics is from the Blanco poem; the second is from the Kingsolver poem.

Interlude Ritual: The Year in Review

The list of end-of-year rituals is nearly as long as the year itself. I have already made clear how I feel about resolutions, and declared I will have none. But I got an email with what I think is a cool idea, specifically for this year. I signed up for some photo walk resources with Lizzie Larock sometime early in the pandemic. I continue to get her emails, with encouragement about creativity and mindfulness. 

Today, Lizzie wisely reminded us as we bid good riddance to 2020 in all its shittiness (my word, not hers), there are likely some good or even great things we have forgotten about. She shared some of the science and psychology on why our brains tend to remain stuck on the negative stuff. But in a nutshell, she explains how we tend to summarize the year by the “peak-end” phenomenon. This means, we mostly recall the peak experience of the year (good or bad), and the end experience of the year (good or bad).

Lizzie’s recommendation to counteract the peak-end “cognitive trap” as she called it? Choose 7 photos, using the prompts as I did below, that shaped your year. Then write about them for 5 minutes total. Great idea, no pressure to write anything earth-shattering. Here’s what I got for ya... give it a try if you like and tag @Lizzielarock if you do.

1. A photo of a highlight of 2020

I knew right where I was going with this one. It was an amazing trip quite literally 2 weeks before the world shut down. I have enough pics for a photo album, but selected this one because we planned the whole trip around the Tesla concert. It was absolutely fantastic!

Dave Rude & Frank Hannon- Tesla concert at The Saenger Theater in Pensacola, Florida (2-14-20)

2. A photo of a meaningful moment

It was sometimes hard to find meaningful moments in this year, as I went from traveling across the country for work two times a month to working at home in my office everyday. That said, I was grateful my employment was unaffected otherwise, as well, my husband’s and my son’s jobs were not affected. For this we felt very lucky. Scrolling through my photos I found this gem from October. In between stops during his workday, my son called randomly and asked if I would like to eat lunch together. That’s what we did. I called it in, he picked it up, and we sat for a rare and true lunch break. Here he is sitting at my table. It made me feel happy the whole rest of the day. I still remember!

3. A photo of a moment with your loved ones

The photo I chose first for this is not the one that appears below. I have this adorable picture of my three nieces, 2 years, 4 years, and 6 years-old. I was staying at my dad’s condo on the beach for a week and they came to have a “sleepover” with my sister-in-law. The photo is of the three of them playing in the sand, care free on the wide open beach. Their giggles and their energy were delightful. My sister-in-law does not post photos of her girls on any social media or anywhere public, so I left it out and instead opted for a pic of my husband and me, from that same trip to Pensacola (in #1). We were standing up on a boardwalk tower looking at our shadow cast down below. I love this pic because it looked like we were in our Jeep Wrangler, which sadly we do not have anymore. We don’t have a whole lot of photos with loved ones from this year, but he’s always on the top of my “loved ones” list and my son is already pictured :)

4. A photo of something new you tried this year

The subject of this photo was easy, it was just a matter of selecting one to represent the “new” thing we tried this year. My husband and I bought a van and we’re in the process of converting it to a camper van. This is a photo of our dashboard as we pulled out for our first trip. At this point we had only installed floor insulation and vinyl panel flooring (which looks great). We threw a mattress on the floor and tossed in some of our camping gear, and we were on our way. More to come for sure in 2021!

5. A photo that makes me proud

This pic represents me at the peak of a health journey. No processed foods, low grains and no added sugar, and I was biking regularly. I had just come in from a long challenging ride. I appreciate how my face and skin look in this photo, and how proud I was and continue to be about taking new perspective on my overall wellness, rather than just weight loss. In fact, it’s a reminder the holidays are over, and it’s time to recalibrate.

6. A photo that makes me feel connected

Another easy one to pull up right away. This was the #writeout in October, when I met up with some of my writing buddies at a local state park. We wrote together, walked and talked, and ended the day with a really nice campfire and s’mores, and each of us shared a piece of writing. It was wonderful and we were definitely connected... to one another and to the natural world. Planning again for next year, for sure.

7. A photo that just makes me smile

Lizzie reminded us not to worry about the “best” pics and to focus on what they represent. Good advice, because I am actually sharing here a photo I would most definitely NOT describe as flattering, but man it sure does make me smile. Even laugh out loud! Last February, again about a month before the chaos of COVID ensued, my husband and I went to Universal Islands of Adventure with my best friend and her husband. We always have such a good time together, and this trip has a longer story than is interesting to anyone else. Suffice to say it replaced our annual trip together to the EPCOT Food and Wine Festival. Universal doesn’t compare, but we had fun anyway. Here’s a funny pic of Christine and me being silly in the Seussland store. Good times.

This was fun, for sure. It’s helpful to look back on the year and seek out the good times. The year is new, but it doesn’t mean magically everything will be better. Reminders to look for the joy wherever we can found it will likely serve us well, this year and always. Happy New Year!